Oh deedle-dee, three tots are we
And we're as clever as can be
We live with Grandma Ida
And our dear old Grampa Ned
And little baby Mike (The brat!)
And don't forget Siamese cat
And in the attic, from Detroit
Is big fat uncle Fred
Oh Grampa wishes he were rich
And Grandma just complains (The bitch!)
An Uncle Fred sits drunk in bed
Mike cries all night and day
The cat thinks that he owns the place
He bites and scratches on the face
It'd be so nice if they all went away
Away, away-de-dady-dady-dady-dady-dady-day
The cat is dead, the cat is dead
I went to pat him on the head
He didn't purr, he didn't meow
He didn't blink or sniff
He seemed to have a funny smile
It made me laugh but all the while
The tail the used to flippy-flop
Got awful cold and stiff
We chopped him into little bits
And seasoned him with apple bits
And with some dust we made a crust
And put him in a pie
Into the oven he did slip
Until the crust was nice and crisp
I'll love that little kitty til I die
I die, I die-dee-die-dee-die-dee-die
Dee-die-dee-die-dee-die!
The cat is dead, the cat is dead
And Mikey, too, and Uncle Fred
Expiring oh so suddenly
While sipping down some tea
The tea was hot, the tea was nice
With strictnine and a little spice
To cover up the funny taste of our consipracy
When Grampa saw what we had done
He went straight for his hunting gun
But we were quick, we stole the clip
The rest is history
To make sure Gradma wouldn't flee
We gave her a lobotomy
And now she's just as happy as can be
Can be, can beedle-deedle-deedle-deedle
Deedle-deedle-dee!
The cat is dead, the cat is dead
I went to pat him on the head
He didn't purr, he didn't meow
(Ahhhhhh ahh)
He didn't blink or sniff
(Ahh ahhhhhh)
He seemed to have a funny smile
It made me laugh but all the while
The tail the used to flippy-flop
(Ahh ahh ahh ahhh)
Got awful cold and stiff
We chopped him into little bits
And seasoned him with apple bits
And with some dust we made a crust
(Ahhhhhh ahh)
And put him in a pie
(Ahh ahhhhhh)
Into the oven he did slip
Until the crust was nice and crisp
I'll love that little kitty til I die
I die, I die-dee-die-dee-die-dee-die